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Megaman ZX: The New Threat
Topic Started: Nov 6 2010, 08:43 PM (699 Views)
ProdigySlayer
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TREZian
Hey everyone. After Playing Megaman ZX and Advent. I started to come with this Fanfic. Is basically a new enemy. If your going to comment Comment nicely please i worked hard thinking about this fanfic.

Prologue
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StrikerGX
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It was okay for a first one. I have few things you need to do for you next one:
1) Describe everything better. I want to get the images in my mind of what I'm reading.
2) I know this is a prologue, but try to make the chapters longer. This literally took me two minutes to read.
3) Try to add some sort of humor to it. Even if it's one comment or a thought, it's better than nothing.
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ProdigySlayer
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TREZian
Okay I know that ur suppose to make it longer but im making my new one right its probably going take a while to finish since most fanfics chapters are like 14 pages but ill make sure ill do what u said
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Other Kris
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Here are a few things to keep in mind when writing something. This goes for a lot of people as well:
1. You're not writing a play guys, go ahead and be descriptive. It doesn't help when all there is; is dialogue. We need a setting, a voice, mood, and tone for the story. I don't feel like reading this after seeing the style of way of writing.
2. You should probably add in some detail to it. This is just so bland and boring.
3. Introduce the characters.
4. A better title, other than "The New Threat". This pisses me off, and do you know why? You lack the idea to come up with a little something more creative? I bet I can find a dozen fanfics titled that.

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Grammar Fail
 
They went back home and helped people who was in need.

... What the fu- is this?

... Seriously?

Grammar Fail x2
 
They thought everything was over that they're wasn't going to be any more trouble.
Edited by Other Kris, Nov 7 2010, 06:23 PM.
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Aizirk Mayune
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EGAO

All I think that it's better to write it in dialogue form than script form, it increases some thrill. Without it, it's just like boring.

You also need to explain the character's movements too and how they interact to each other and the use of emotions. Lack of emotions means that they were just role-playing rather than actually doing their roles in the story.

One word: G-R-A-M-M-A-R.
Seriously, you need to work on your grammar. Since I know everyone is not perfect (And I also make mistakes in mine, too.), just do your best on your grammar. Typo is ok.

I'm agreeing with KRH about your title... "The New Threat" seems... umm, common. You need to try to be creative. You need to think about a title that blends perfectly with the plot.

And, last one. Try to be more descriptive. Description increases the imagination of the reader and they/us will imagine the character like you wanted it to be.

I like doing constructive criticism so bear me when I've been doing long posts for an opinion. I don't rant or flame someone else for their imperfection of writing a story. If that's their first time, OK, I'll give a chance and CC (constructive criticism) to improve it.

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